Riley Janae

Time drags on

2006-10-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

It's been two months since we were with our girl. We have both been on such a rollercoaster of emotions. Riley is on my mind all day, every day. I have been trying to stay busy getting all sorts of long overdue projects done. Every task I complete I do with the thought of how much time I will have for my girl with out these things hanging over my head. We're finally in PGN which is family court in Guatemala. We're two weeks into what is usually a six to eight week process. We were hoping to have Riley home by Halloween, but that's not going to happen. At this rate we'll be lucky to have her home by thanksgiving. The thing that is so stressful is that her birthday is Dec. 17th. We need our girl home now. My arms are so empty without her!

Heaven on Earth

2006-08-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

Where do I start? I guess it would have to be when I first laid eyes on our girl. I knew who she was the instant I saw her. I had fallen in love with her picture when we first got her referral, but that was nothing compared to what I felt when she was placed into my arms. I didn't know how I was going to be able to hand her back to her foster mom. Riley wasn't the least bit afraid of us. She is a well adjusted and sweet baby. I can only say good things about her foster family. It was obvious that they love her deeply and give her the best of care. Our first few hours with her were spent in awe. We just couldn't believe we were holding her and she was ours. When she looked at me with those big brown eyes, she swallowed my heart whole! She laughs and smiles a lot but when she sees the camera her smile disappears. I had often wondered why they never sent pics with her smiling, now I know. Brian was so cute with her! When she had a dirty diaper, he jumped right up and took care of business. Mind you, he was suppressing a few gags but he pressed on. He was so proud of the fact he was changing a stinky! I hated to burst his bubble, but what he thought was a major mess was really no more then a dirty fart! The real mess was a couple of hours later and believe me when I say he wanted no part of that one!!!! We played for the longest time and took a couple of walks around the hotel and met a few other people visiting their new babies. We met a couple on the plane, Steve and Jolene Grove, they were there to visit the third child they are adopting from Guatemala. This was their eighth trip over and they really helped us out a lot. For one thing, I broke our camera 30 minutes before Riley got to the hotel! Steve took Brian out to find a camera shop. It was quite a little adventure for them. Steve knew there was one close by but it took them a little while to find it. I guess just about every store had armed guards. Brian said they saw a few sawed-off shot guns. Any way, the camera was much better than the one I broke so it worked out for the best. I had to endure being called Gracie for a couple of weeks but it was worth it.

We just could not get enough of our sweet girl. For one thing, she loves to cuddle. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. One of life's greatest pleasures for me is rocking a baby in my arms. This time it was my baby and I can honestly say I never thought I would be so blessed. I felt like my heart would burst, it was so full of love it was overwhelming. Our first night was long, we had a crib for her but she woke up and cried every time I put her down. We finally put her in bed with us and she settled right in. I assume she sleeps with someone at home. I can say that this was NO hardship having that little one lying next to me. She woke in a good mood and played with daddy, stealing his sheet and heart at the same time. I've always joked that if we ever had a little girl that I would cease to exist. I was a daddies girl, so I know the score. Riley has already developed a lethal weapon to use on her daddy. When she gets mad or fussy she blows raspberries! She cried a few time for a few minutes and Brian turned to mush. I should say she makes crying sounds. She didn't work up a single tear! Daddy on the other hand was very near tears, he has no idea how this girl is going to work him. I tease him by telling him he is going to be s sucker dad, not a soccer dad.

Here She is!!

2006-08-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

Well we have been in Guatemala since the 11th. The foster mother brought Riley to us Saturday morning around 9:30am. I can't begin to explain the feelings I had when I first met Riley. Robbie fell to pieces, and then the foster mother fell to pieces when she saw Robbie crying.

It has been non stop since then! We have enjoyed every second of it! We are both tired, but totally in love with our little girl. Hopefully we will be bringing her home permanently soon.

I'm sure Robbie will post more about the trip when we get home.

Can we say nervous?!!!!!!!!

2006-08-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

We are just a few hours away from the first part of our flight to visit Riley. With all the nonsense going on with airline travel right now we thought it would be best to get to the airport a few hours early. We start with a four hour flight to Houston then take a connecting into Guatemala city. We are both so full of mixed emotions! I cannot believe that in just twenty four hours we are going to be holding our daughter for the first time! I'm so tense that everyone is getting on my last nerve.

When we had made it through security, I found a nice table next to a coffee stand where we could plug in the lap top. Brian was on a mission for a morning jolt, so I staked out our claim on the table.
Brian hadn't been gone more that two minutes when a young man in sunglasses plopped down in the third chair. I thought he would leave as soon as he had his shoes on, but oh no, I'm not that lucky. He began talking to me as though we had already been in the middle of a conversation, that's not unusual for me, I can talk to just about anyone. I was a little nervous that he would try to get away with one of my bags. I kept trying to work on the laptop but he just kept going and going. Finally Brian came back and after a few more awkward minutes the kid left.

but that's not the best part, after taking a drink I set my cup down and what do you think happened? That's right, BRIAN spilled it! It narrowly missed the laptop and only slightly got my shoes. Needless to say we're both worried that this is just a sign of things to come.

So pray for us friends, that we may not be unduly traumatized by our little adventure here. After all, we weren't about to let some idiot terrorist keep us from Riley, so this should be a cake walk right?

Going for a visit!!

2006-07-25T23:23:00.000-07:00

I'm not nearly as good with words as Robbie is, but I will do my best. We recevied approval today to go visit Riley!! This will be such a fantastic trip. We are both so excited! We will have Riley to ourselves for 3 whole days. Robbie received some terrible news her sister in law passed away this evening. Robbie will be on her way to AZ, and then return for our trip to Guatemala to see Riley. Here are some pictures of Riley that we have received over the last few months. We typically get new pictures every month. We both hope we con go bring her home permanently soon!

Baby face

2006-07-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

March 20th was a great day. I had an early appointment for a CT scan, no problems, just a routine check up. Anyway, I was getting caught up on our adoption progress with one of the techs that I'm friends with. I had brought her up to speed and promised to let her know as soon as we had any news to share. I went out to my car and called Brian to let him know how things went and OH MAMA, was that ever a call to remember! Brian told me he had some good news and I just assumed it was work related. He told me that we had a referral for a three month old baby girl! I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that felt. I went right back upstairs and told my friend, she was almost as stunned as I was . I was only about two minutes away from my chemo clinic so I had to go and tell my friends there. This child is going to have so many aunt's she won't know what to do. I know I started calling family and friends blubbering like an idiot, nothing new in that some would say. Brian had told me that we had pictures on e-mail but before I could go home I had a very important stop to make. Babies-r-us!!!!!!!! I don't even remember what I bought that day, my head was so high in the clouds . Dawn called me while I was there to let me know she had seen the pics and that I needed to get home to see how beautiful my daughter was. Wow, my daughter! I just can't believe that I get to say those words. When I got home and opened that e-mail I thought my heart would burst. One look at that sweet face and I was lost forever! Did you see those cheeks? I can't wait to kiss those fat things.

The paper chase

2006-07-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

If you ever thought buying a house involved a massive amount of paper work, you ain't seen nothin yet. Multiply the mortgage process by about five times and you might come close! It was just very fortunate for me that I have a husband who has no problem wading through endless requests for this that and the other. If it was left to me to handle, well we would probably have had to settle for another dog. This will balance out in the long run because Brian is just as intimidated by dirty diapers as I am paper work. Did I say balance? I think he will be changing a few dirties after all! Believe me, I will have the camcorder ready to roll on his first attempt. I'm hoping it will be good enough to send into America's funniest home videos. Maybe we'd win and be able to offset the cost of this adoption. Hey, it's worth a try.

We found out early on that due to my medical history that we were not going to be able to adopt through Russia or any part of eastern Europe. Not a problem. You see, I don't care what country we adopt from. I can love any child of any color. I just want to be Mama. Guatemala did not have a problem approving me. Their main concern is finding good homes for their kids.

So after Brian made sure that all the I's were dotted and the T's crossed we sent off stacks of tree products with the appropriate golden government seals. And then we waited.

The long hard road

2006-07-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

This is a story that begins about four years ago. Brian and I had been married about nineteen years and had been unable to have children. We began looking into foreign adoption through a Russian orphanage. As we all know, life doesn't always go as planned.

During a routine Dr visit I told my Doc about my little dog Yoda jumping on my chest and making me sore. She wanted me to have a baseline mamogram just to make sure everything was o.k. Three weeks later I was told there was a problem. The problem turned out to be stage four breast cancer. Needless to say our plans for adoption were out of the question. During the course of my treatments we suffered another devastating blow. Brian had been laid off from his job without warning. Now we not only faced a life threatening illness, but the possible loss of our home as well. It was almost too much to bear.

After twenty rounds of chemo, including a new cancer suppression drug, experimental microwave therapy, surgery and radiation, I went into remission. This was only the medical part of our ordeal. I can honestly say I don't believe I would have survived without faith. I had countless numbers of people praying for me on a regular basis. That was a source of comfort and strength that I could not have done without. I also had my sweet Brian who cared for me with so much love and patience that he should be nominated for sainthood. I also had My mom-in-law Charlene and my friend Dawn, both cancer survivors, who gently guided me through all the insane and dark thoughts that are a very real part of cancer. Three other very special ladies, Julie, Darlene and Bettye made sure that my sense of humor was intact and refused to let me give into fear and grief. My family made sure that I knew how much I was loved. My Great nieces and nephews sent me a card each week for two years. I can't put into words my gratitude for all the people involved in my recovery. I was blessed with two of the most wonderful Doctors you could ask for. Dr. Lynn Clark and Dr. Frank Senecal. My nurses have the utmost compassion and care for their patients. I know that all of this would not have been possible without a lot of answered prayers.

After being out of work for five long months Brian finally found a wonderful job. Even though he wasn't working, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He was able to be with me every step of the way. I can't imagine going through this without him. He got me thru the deaths of my parents, now he was helping me fight for my own life. Yeah I know it's corny, but he completes me!

Skip ahead about two years and we're pretty much back to normal. Our friends Lars and Dawn inform us that they are going to adopt a child. I had a lot of mixed emotions when I heard this news. I was thrilled for them, but it also brought back the disappointment of our having to give up that dream. Lars made a point of telling Brian that Dawn had survived nine years after her own battle with stage three ovarian cancer. He reminded Brian that there are no guaranteed tomorrows. I'm ashamed to say we had seen that as a reason not to try adoption. We were both unsure that Brian could handle being a single parent. Lars pointed out that it could just as easily be me raising a child on my own. He and Dawn urged us not to give up on our dream of having our own rugrat. I really hate to give him any credit and risk inflating his ego, but well, he really did a good thing. They were blessed with a beautiful little girl from Kazakhstan. Now we get to be aunt and uncle to Lauren, aka LuLu.